Let me tell you a story about how FlipSide changed my life.

So last night, I went all lameass hermit and went to sleep at 10 o clock. I never go to fucking sleep at 10. No matter what the night entails, chances are, I’m still awake at 1am.

Sleep is a glorious fucking thing. So glorious. So fucking glorious that I can’t even think of a funny metaphor to establish how fucking glorious I think fucking sleep is.

So like I said, I went to sleep at 10. And apparently I was so dead that I just fucking passed the fuck out.

And at midnight, FlipSide proceeded to turn my whole world upside down. Obviously not expecting me to be asleep, he texts me. Then. Still, not thinking I’m asleep. He texts me again.

By this point I’m legitimately fucked up.

BAM. Text number 3. And quickly following that, text number 4 shoots to my phone.

I know. BEST STORY EVER. Line up girls, I’m signing autographs all day.

No but seriously. These four consecutive texts fucking flipped my world on it’s goddamned axis.

I was so fucking tired when I went to sleep, that I just fell all the way down to fucking deep motherfucking deep sleep.

And when my phone started screaming and vibrating at me, it was like being fucking born. I had no fucking idea what was happening.

You know how it is waking up sometimes. All disoriented and fucking confused and shit. Well I was this to the damn max.

My mind couldn’t put fucking anything together.

Why the fuck are my lights on? What the fuck is happening? How could it be midnight? What time is it? It’s 12? What the fuck? What time is it? It’s TWELVE!?!?

It was like I was in a cyclone of time. I couldn’t comprehend that I’m waking up from such a deep sleep at fucking midnight.

It just made no sense.

And while my mind is trying to make connections that it just can’t make, text after text is interrupting it. Which just makes it fucking worse.

I’m tripping uncontrollable balls, until finally I manage to realize I need to respond. Or this might go on for the rest of my life. Text him back or your life is over Rooster.

Rooster: I’m asleep.

I managed to squeeze out that little gem before passing the fuck out once again.

So. That’s the story. I’m sorry for overwhelming you with so much substance and character development.

Good day.