Hey guys, welcome the fuck to Rooster’s Blog.
My name is Remicks, you may remember the name from the other fucking crazy stories. If you don’t, you may excuse yourself the fuck away from this page.
If you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m going to write this blog entry for Rooster because my blog was PG the fuck 13 and his is clearly anything fucking goes. So I’m letting out my inner “fuck shit piss motherfuck bitch whores” on this bitch.
This is one of those nights that everyone who attended will remember for years to come. To set the premise I’d like you all to know that I won’t be using any fucking names during this blog because anonymity was both asked for and implied for the dignity of some of the fuckers in this story.
So one of my fucking awesome friends ended up having a house to himself for a whole fucking month – this doesn’t happen very often and much less for this fucking guys family.
We partied pretty fucking hard pretty fucking often, but one night we fuckin decided that we were going to play the game Edward 40 hands. For you boring fucks who don’t know what the fuck the fucking game is well fuck – be immature for a year and have some fucking fun. It’s about duct taping some fucking fortys to your fucking hands and not taking them off till they’re both done.
The night was young and the fucking plan was actually to have a mini show (of two local bands) for their closest friends.
And we crashed the fucking party with fortys. While the show was being played we randomly decided it’d be a fucking great idea to start cheersing one another while saying Edward every fucking time you cheersed another Edward.
“Edward” “Edward!” “Good day Edward!”
Problem is we were a fucking dozen retards holding these fortys – all wanting to piss and having tired muscles from holding the heavy fucking bottles.
The show was dope as fuck – the first band having a member that has been part of virtually every story Rooster has written.
The other band just being a group that has played together so long the complexity and dynamic of their music was just remarkable – three fucking thumbs up to both of them.
[Allow me to interject for just one moment. I, Rooster, will take the baton from this dirty mouthed fatherfucker.
I’d like to give some insight into the degree of my wasted off my life-ness.
At one point, during the collective Edward cheersing of 2012, my drunk ass broke the top of one of my fortys.
So here I am, stumbling around, taking swigs from a sharp fucking shard, when the second band starts playing “Stacy’s Mom”.
And my drunk ass flips the fuck out, swaying and smashing my way through the tiny crowd, singing “Scotty Doesn’t Know”, at the top of my lungs.
I was entirely convinced that they were playing that song, which of course, they fucking weren’t. And afterward I go up to them and convey my total mind blown happiness.
Rooster: I WAS SO FUCKING HAPPY WHEN YOU PLAYED SCOTTY DOESN’T KNOW.
Singer: (blank face) We didn’t play that…..
And now that I have ruined his flow, to pass it back to Remicks.]
By the time we were fucking done our fortys (and a picture before the removal of the fortys– that made it on TheChive.com) we got some fuckin chick to cut them off and proceed to rip off the duct tape……..along with any fucking hair we once had on our hands.
Now this is when the fucking party picked up. All those who weren’t playing forty hands still got fucked on whatever they were drinking – and the Jell-o shots came in from the outside. This was during the middle of winter in CANADA… so they were ready as fuck to get consumed. We downed those and started doing what we do best – ramble on about stupid shit and try to get others more fucked up.
By this time some random girl was at the party giving herself to any fucking guy who’d make eye contact with her. I’m not sure if she’s always fucking like that (pun?) or if she was on tongue to the face mode that night – but she looked like she was having (and looking to give) a good fucking time.
This girl starts going after the host of the party – she goes as far as drawing a chick touching herself on the whiteboard in his room. The drawing was dirty as fuck – but kudos to the effort, it’s more than my left brained ass could do on a good day. Bitch got tired because the host wasn’t down for her sloppy trunk trying to get on his junk so she moved on to her next target.
This next target – who may or may not be the author of this blog, [It was] fucking pushed the limits of this girl. They were making out and it looked like it was on from dusk till dawn. [We were] These fucking kids were basically at each other’s faces like the world was going to end.
They took it downstairs to the room where Rooster’s ex was staying (they moved in temporarily when the parents left) and he was, to quote Rooster, “Sucking on her tittys”, [I fucking was] making out and god knows what else until they got cock blocked. [Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck]
This can be looked at as fucking disgusting – but I thought it was fucking jokes as fuck, I mean how good of a moment Is it to suck on some beautiful ass titties on the current bed of your ex – and then have her the one who walks in on you?!
Around this time there were other things happening – not fucking cool things. Some two fucking assholes were basically groping a girl who didn’t want any of it. A very rape-y sort.
When people finally stepped up and told them to fuck off, these fucking retards leave – but not without smashing a window first.
Now the host of this party can kick some fucking ass singlehandedly. But he fucking took a bat out. Shit got settled and the cops were called but he went in a blood rage and fucking punched a metal pole before he realized he had to calm down.
The party cleared out a bit after the events of those fuckheads – but the girl of the hour had yet to acquire her target for the night. This girl starts sitting on laps and probably would have taken her clothes off if she didn’t get the attention she needed.
Eventually she acquired a target and had the nerve to take him into the parent’s room for some action. This didn’t fucking go over well with the host – who somehow got more shit thrown in his face aside from the broken fucking window. He stormed in and kicked those two shitfaced retards out of his fucking house and called it a night.
This fucking night ended the relationships of a few of the attendees due to the obvious fucking reasons .
Sucking tittys on the ex’s bed? GG
Breaking a window? GTFO
Sex on parent’s bed? /unfriend
All said and done – the concert was fucking amazing and those fucking groups fucking blow my fucked mind to fuck.
For a PG 13 and completely unrelated version of my writing check jcoppola.wordpress.com
I will leave now.. with a couple of
Fuck shit piss motherfucking whore fucking slut cunt ass twat bitchass hoefaced chode with a fucker on top tabarnak coliss esti putain de merde encule ta mere batard.
Thank you and have a nice day 🙂