So this is gonna be a short one. I’ve had a recent experience that must be shared, seeing as it is FUCKING JOKES.
So here’s the deal. Friday night I’m out with a couple of my buddies for some drinking and drinking and like. More drinking and stuff. It was good drinking.
The night itself was decent, nothing outrageous. So the whole night doesn’t make a blog entry. Getting drunk and stumbling around doing random fucking shit isn’t all that interesting on paper. Though in practice it’s fucking sweet as shit. Shit isn’t that sweet. I should probably say. Sweet as marshmallows.
Anyways. We’re at a random bar. I don’t remember where. And when I’m drunk I do enjoy a nice cigar. So Aces and I step outside for a smoke.
We’re standing there next to an alleyway, and this fucking drunken large ass Asian guy stumbles down the street and turns toward the alleyway. It actually means nothing that he’s Asian. And doesn’t forward this story at fucking all. But he’s Asian, and I’m very meticulous with my details. So fuck you.
As he’s passing us he gets mad fucking close and sticks his face right in our faces, and just stumbles on. Aces and I think this is fucking jokes, so we watch him stumble. And he stops mid alleyway and starts pissing. Facing the other way, obviously. We saw no shaft. Don’t worry.
And when he’s finished he stumbles back and stops at us. Now this guy is FUCKED. Fucking TrainWreckFucked. He stood there fucking staring in our faces, eyes barely focusing on the two of us standing there. I could literally see his pupils dilate as he tried to look into our eyes or whatever shit this motherfucker was trying to do.
Rooster: Yo man. You okay there? You havin a good night?
That’s what he fucking said. I swear. Mmmmmmmrrrgmmggmmmgggg. It was fucking elaborate.
He looked at us a few more seconds and then tried to walk away. But instead he kind of just, stood in place and did some kind of fucking feet shuffle. Which didn’t get him anywhere. And he looked back up at us with this look of surprise on his face. Like he thought he walked away, only to realize he didn’t fucking go anywhere.
Aces and I are silently dying. Trying not to laugh.
Rooster: You don’t look so good man. You feeling alright?
This guy was a fucking conversationalist. I kid you not.
Rooster: Here man. I bet you could use one of these.
I handed him my half finished cigar. Cause I’m a decent motherfucker. And this guy needed my aid.
And I swear to you. He fucking grabs the cigar from my hand. Continues looking in our faces, and without even glancing at it, puts it in the pocket of his hoodie.
My fucking lit cigar. He fucking put my lit cigar into his hoodie. And he did this like it was the most fucking normal thing he could have done. Like he was just checking the time or some shit. That’s just what he does with fucking cigars. Obviously.
Aces and I fucking cracked the fuck up. It was unavoidable. Did this just actually fucking happen?
And when we laugh he looks at us like he wants to kill us. But that quickly passes. He mumbles some more nonsense. And he just ambles away into the darkness of Montreal.
As you can see. This had to be shared. I really hope he enjoyed my cigar. He deserves it.